What Do You Give Someone in AA? A Guide for Family and Friends
Updated: 1 day ago
When someone you love gets sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, you may want to mark it but not know how. Will a gift feel like it is about their drinking? Is there something they actually need? This guide is for family members and friends who are not in AA themselves and want to give something meaningful.
AA Big Book, Highlighted & AAmazingtabbed
Laminated, pre-labeled tabs and color-highlighted passages, ready to use. Ships in 2–3 days.
Start With What They Are Building
Recovery in AA centers on meetings, a sponsor, the Twelve Steps and a book called Alcoholics Anonymous, usually called the Big Book. The gifts people treasure tend to support that new life rather than point back to the old one.
Make it about them today, not about the drinking they stopped.
Choose something useful, not a joke or a novelty.
Add a note. A few sincere sentences matter more than the price.
Gifts That Support Their Recovery
A Big Book that is easy to use. Many people new to AA struggle to find the Steps, prayers and other key passages. A tabbed and highlighted AA Big Book arrives with 144 laminated, pre-labeled tabs and color-highlighted passages, in standard hardcover or large print.
Tabs for the book they already have. If they already have a Big Book they like, the AAmazingtabs Tabs Kit lets them tab it themselves.
A journal and a good pen. Many people write as part of their recovery.
A coffee card or a ride. Meetings often start with coffee, and a ride can make it easier to get there.
Gifts That Celebrate Their New Life
A sober outing together, like a concert, a hike or a favorite restaurant
Something for a hobby they have picked up in sobriety
A framed photo from a good day you shared this year
Your time, with no agenda
What to Avoid
Anything alcohol-themed, including jokes about not drinking
Gifts that focus on their past or their mistakes
Pressure to explain their program to you
Sharing their recovery with others or on social media without asking
AAmazingtabs Tabs Kit
144 laminated, pre-labeled tabs to put in your own Big Book. Ships in 2–3 days.
Milestones and Anniversaries
Many AA groups mark sobriety milestones with a chip or medallion, and some people celebrate a "sobriety birthday" each year. If you are not sure whether they would like you to mark the day, ask. For ideas, see sobriety anniversary gifts by milestone and what to write in a sobriety anniversary card.
Support for You, Too
Loving someone in recovery can bring up a lot. Al-Anon is a separate fellowship for family members and friends of alcoholics, and many people find it helpful whether or not their loved one is in AA.
Frequently Asked Questions
What do you give someone who just got sober in AA?
Something that supports their recovery or their new life: a Big Book that is easy to use, a journal, a coffee card or a sober outing together. A sincere note is often the part they remember.
Is it okay to give a gift for a sobriety anniversary?
Yes, many people appreciate it, but it is never required. If you are unsure, a card or a few kind words is always welcome. You can also ask how they like to mark the day.
What should you not give someone in recovery?
Avoid anything alcohol-themed and gifts that focus on their past. Keep the focus on who they are today.
Is a Big Book a good gift from a family member?
It can be, especially a tabbed and highlighted one that is easy to use. If they already have a Big Book they love, a Tabs Kit or a gift card lets them choose.
From Our Family
We are a family with 30+ years of sobriety, and we have been hand-crafting tabbed Big Books for 10+ years. For holiday ideas, see Christmas gifts for someone in AA, or browse all AA sobriety gifts.
DIY Big Book Kits
A Big Book with tabs and highlighters, so you can set it up yourself. DIY kits ship in 2–3 days.
Take the Big Book with you: get the AAmazingtabs app. App Store · Google Play
AAmazingtabs is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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